Tuesday, March 2, 2010

inside my head

Inside my head something grows
What I do not know
Who might it be?
A friend ready to jump out at any moment to cut another man’s throat? Perhaps her-the one wearing her knee socks today.
Nothing is as quite as it seems today-please give me an aswer, I cannot go on living in this place. Christ they haven’t cleaned my room in weeks.That’s right, because I shit there, well in the corner of the room- my days now are spent in a 8x5 cubicle. I’ve been too brave. I smashed Clarence’s head in.

Clarence was a fuckity fuck. He was a transfer from Ohio a month back and has since been getting on my nerves. He’sAsmall man who has pleaure in hurting others.Emotionally. I mean. He would taunt all of us. Saying little things as we walked by, whispered to us in the night.So I called to my friend who was ready to jump from my noggin- he did and Clarence was cut down like a weak pin in the forest. Ifelt nothing towards him except anger, he made me angry for now having to stay in her longer. I was coming up for review in a few monthsso I wanted to be on my best behavior.
Well this guy fucked it up for me.

Friday, February 19, 2010


Wednesday, February 17, 2010


1987 My sister was playing with her Strawberry Shortcake dollys while I was listening to Casey Kasem’s top 40 Sunday- Using them to run a Brothel- The Smurphs as the JONS and my 12” Joe’s as the pimps- I would drill holes in them- in their plastic crotches mold a penus out of Playdough, SO Papa Smurph would fuck Strawberry Shortcake- it would get messy, purple and grey clay mushed into the jagged hole I bored into her-HOW simpe life was where you could maintain the chaos of a childs mind and no one would ask questions-This was BUFFALO, THIS WAS THE COLDEST WINTER I SPENT THERE-THISWASEWHEREISTAYEDWITH MYGRANDMOTHER

I was 20, this was before Dr. Lee, this was before the nightmares, this was before my life inside here, this place not far from where I grew up-depending on your idea of distance.

PLANET MARS is close as far as I’m concerned. Sally Granit was her name, she was a stone cold woman, girl. SHE WAS 14. She had thin arms and boney legs, She was my first- then KAREN Smith- she was my second before D.LEE entered my life and gave me this place, the cubicals- you

I think about Karen and Sally when I look at Jenna – she is only a little older, not much. These thoughts that I have, where I would like to take her- on a trip. Sally loved the circus, though I never took her there.I took her to a fair. One of those CARNY mobile units that would set-up shop for a few days in a small tonw. The y would call it a “FAIR” but it was just a disguise. Sally loved it- Karen on the other hand never left her room. She always wanted to stay there and I’m not certain why.

Perhaps because of Mr. ABLE, Perhaps he never wanted her to go. Hiding there among her animals. But Jenna would be special, I would need to bring her to a place I never was, even in my dreams.

The clip clop of her shoes on our white floors reminds me of those old black and white movies where you hear the woman walking down a foggy cobblestone walkway- glistening, that sound echoes, tapping into my blood. Watching her as I mop. Sally and Karen have nothing on Jenna-

My sister who was younger than I came to me and asked me one day whiy I molested her toys as I did. She was SIX. I stared at this small mole at the side of her cheek as it moved. It danced as she would go on and on. I never heard an actual word come from her mouth. Just breath.

The only thing she ever said was “GABRIEL” I took this as nothing important until later in life. Reading up on Christian mythology. “THE WINGS OF GABRIEL.”

TO me the bible is much like today’s modern “Harry Potter” books- fantasy, magic, evil heroes- but dare I not say that to many since it be blasphemy-Never blasphemy if it aint real.

That’s when Hermaphroditus came to me, I was in my bedroom, I found my mother’s bible. It just sat on her nightstand-I would read passages from it nightly. But I also studied the luscious paintings of nude images. This aroused me to no end. The heavenly bodies wrapped in cloth of the purest of white. How magnificent.

As I was about to cum all over EVE’s face, Hermaphroditus appeared to me among the pages. She wrapped her lips around my cock- if my mother came in she would see my dick one with the pages of the bible. BUT what I saw as plane as day was a mouth, with a soft tongue bound in a wretched leather mask. Stitched as if by a butcher sewing up a pig’s stomach-My sister saw this. She was SIX.

I was obsessed with it, the pages of wretched violence and decept but the sexual tension of the imagery. I’M not angry with the women of my life Dr. Lee has told me- I understand them as beings from another world. A world where they started as us but transformed into these things, these half woman part male creatures. Dr. Lee has never seen Hermaphroditus, he has only seen my stories, my rants. My ANGER.

Friday, January 22, 2010

“Space, the final step it takes between you and your victim”

Snow falls on my cage
I’m allowed recess but not in the form of a 5th graders dream
But that of a cage animal
A bird
A lion
A tiger
A bear
Oh my-
My skin actually sticks to the metal nicely- the trick is to lick your palm and then just firmly take hold-
Then just rip it off as if it was a band-aid of flesh.

That’s when I get ice cream ☺
That’s when the pretty Nurse Cathy shows up- how the smell of her white blouse makes me hard-
But hard in a different way-
As if I’m blind with light- is she the one I wantnext?
Dr. Lee’s daughter was on my list-

Fist I mean

I’ve taken a while to write because I’ve been in solitary for at least a wekk. Doc Prick didn’t like my last entry and he felt the need to flex his muscles.

Hermaphoditus came for a visit while I was in my chamber of lies.
IT was unhappy with my current situation and wanted me to leave-
After telling him it was impossible- my mother ask me to stay a while for a cup
of coffee and a Danish.
Ever so close am I to the flesh of another- separation only by fabric
Nothing I couldn’t handle –

Hermaphroditus hand me a saber of flesh- I caressed the formed hardened surface- it was hard
I used it but once in 7 years of my stay at CLUB NECROPOLIS
that caused many problems for me-
Many nights after that my only light was Hermaphroditus- that sensible BITCH got me through dark times-

I’d rather be in a cage of barb than a caged box-
I’m an animal- one of God’s creatures- a monster sent from HEAVEN
My cage is my mind of worn road that has had too many accidents to count-

AAA was unavailable at the time of my mind snap.
Give me HELL give me SANE

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

“I have pussy in the brain tonight”

Jenna how art thee
Sitting on my knee
Your pussy bouncing up and down against the cloth that separates the skin of my knee from your panties.

I can smell your fragrance
Your small breasts dance ever so slightly in the air
As if Angels themselves are keeping them aloft-

I watch you through chicken wire glass- daddy leads the way as you doddle along behind him. I watch as your short private school girl skirt bobs in the breeze.

I hold my nose to my cell door – through the small ventilation holes I can smell you. Words cannot describe your essence that dances across molecules to find they’re way to my nostrils.

I hate the salad here fro making me gassy-

It’s ruiining this moment- FUCK YOU LYLE!!!! That’s the last time I eat your sprouts.

She won’t be back until Wednesday at 3:43:24- yes Doc, I know your daughter’s time-that she shows up here to flaunt that in my face, I see her. She turns and looks at me through the slats in my door. I can see her.…..

Laughing- hahahahahaa

Doc I hope you read these you fool- my hearing is coming up on Valentines Day no less. How ironic. Do I send your daughter a heart shaped box full of her favorite chocolates?
Will she like them?

I think that she likes the creamy cherry ones. That’s if I was a beeting man. She looks like she does,

Jenna how your legs glisten in the sunshine-
Jenna what might your daddy say if go off and elope?
Am I too old?
Are you too young?
Are we not compatible?

Francis told me Saturday that I looked like tree with no bark- do you know what that means?

Franices or Fancy as I call him doesn’t have many marbles left. Perhaps I can look more like a sunflower.

The smell of Mr. Clean is strong for the last few days- I think someone died Tues night. But I can’t be sure. We’ve been in lock down since then that’s all I know and when that happens its because of one of several things:

A) Escapee
B) Death
C) Cubical search

I saw Doc Lee on Wednesday morning at 6:02:45am he was talking with one of the new guys- Stanley I think it was. I was doing crunches. My routine come to a fine point after I got back from Dr. Pickman’s pergaps they were doing right by me all along- my new meds have been helping me too

I only want to kill someone every other day now

Saturday, January 2, 2010

“Away I go!”

I tasted my own cum today-

It was saltier than I thought it would be. I was jacking off to Dr. Lee’s daughter sweet 17 year old Jenna. I think I need to drink more water- it was all gummy in texture, not very appealing. Especially if this is a common play by the opposite party. His daughter is very sweet-not that I’ve met her. But I have seen her through several inches of chicken wire glass.

She has long jet black hair much like a raven-olive skin-small tits-cute plump ass-with her charater laden backpack that she carries less full than others might in her grade. She relies on her pussy for her grades not her mind.


Actually I may have her wrong with our new male nurse we have. Who dresses like Marylin Monroe when he shaves his legs just right- they glisten as if illuminated by Jacob’s ladders from heaven.

No she does have a great ass and small tits- I want her

Dr. Lee I would suck your yellow cock for your daughter’s warm moist and virgin labia. I know you will see this fucker- come and give me your best shot-

Dr. Pickman came to mind today as I was taking a shit- man that twat was something else. She really knew how to pursued the local crazies-Andrew this JewFro of a gentleman, I say gentleman because he was a kind old man who had extremely cold balls.

He had been there since Jimmy Caarter was in office for a millisecond- what I didn’t get was that we were supposed to make sure that our cells were clean on a weekly basis. Now Andrew knew this, he kept everything spotless in his 6’x10’ tomb. Except-

For a small lumpy faint green pile of shit he would always leave in the middle of the floor of his rtoom. I would mop the fllor outside his cell every week- One day I witnessed God himself- appear before me. I froze and watched as Andrew squat holding his ass cheeks apart enough to get maximum flow and minimum damage to a perfectly sculpted shit. HIS window was high in his room- so a shaft of light pouring in through the greasy glass sillouetted him- it was an incredible site each week. I would always make certain that I was on every two weeks to watch this feet. That’s usually how long he had to spend in confinement.

I guess Dr. Lee never saw the amusment-

In four minutes the 1st day of 2010 will be gone and another day will click forward marking us all closer to our destiny.

I SAW the future in the mirror which is bolted to the back of my door.

I feel that it’s coming

I can taste the salt from her cum

It’s only a matter of time before the light is out in her eye’s