Hermaphroditus

She is my savior, I love this beast of sin.

It as some say has given me the ability to free my own thoughts. I sense I am as much it as it is of me.

Dr. Lee, has prescribed more colorful medication since my last entry, I suspect he wasn’t too thrilled on what I was trying to say. But Hermaphroditus came to me as it does every night and visits. Frightened, I cannot look away from this beauty of of a?______that has a cock of a man but luscious breasts of a woman. I am not certain what this means.


I’m rambling today, thoughts not really in order today, perhaps it’s the lack of sleep in this place I call home. I haven’t a clue what is driving me every day to get up and face this grey world of sin. Feelings I have from day to day resemble ones of vilonece deeply buried in my body. I can feel sin as if being electrified by it. The sensation can be felt to the tips of my fingernails which quiver as I type.


When Hermaphroditus appears to me it’s when I am sexually aroused. Perhaps it’s a combination of people I have fucked in my life. But I’m trying to think of who they are because some of them have been cold and stiff. Memory is fuzzy. I am toeing a fine line which I can’t decifer, is it in my head? Or am I really like this?

Qwestions I ask myself every second. Sometimes I cannot focus because the thirst for this electricy is strong. Perhaps I should chew my fingernails down to their nubs again. Painfulyes but sometimes it has to be done in order to quell this feeling.

I hope it comes for a visit tonight- I’m very scared when it arrives, but also aroused, what does this mean in the order of life? I rambling doctor, don’t look, fading fast heremust sleep.